Today we are talking about the M word. Masturbation or self-pleasure can be a super taboo topic, especially when we bring it up in the context of long term relationships or marriage. In todays' episode Sofia tackles the reasons we avoid self-pleasure in our LTR, and makes the case for how the right kind of masturbation practice can actually make you a better lover. 

xI have something special for you on todays' episode. A throwback to 2015 when I did a Pecha Kucha talk (who remembers that cultural moment) and I gave a talk about orgasms and rivers. It's 6 minutes, totally hilarious and I hope it moves you. 

In this Episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast I was inspired to reflect on the ways that the archetypes of the Good Mother and The Good Father affect our ability to have great bedroom time. I was inspired by a new book coming out called The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About Being A Good Mom by Nancy Reddy - to explore how the stereotype can limit our ability to sink in to amazing sex after kids. I also take this opportunity to explore the myth of the Good Father and the societal pressures for dads in our society too. In both of these myths there are some great sexpectations that are limiting how we show up to intimacy - so let's talk about how to unearth and uproot them so we can have great sex and a long lasting relationship.

I get it… you are le tired of people telling you to schedule sex… cause it’s lame, not spontaneous, unsexy, or how the F are you going to be able to guarantee that your libido is going to show up on demand.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast we break down your hangups about scheduled sex, four reasons to get over it anyways, and I break down my four step formula for scheduling a sex date that DOES NOT SUCK. No pressure for your libido to show up, no awkward makeouts until you finally get into it, no forcing yourself and then feeling “grateful” you did later, and no more avoiding sex for weeks on end. Valentine’s day is around the corner - the ultimate of scheduled sex dates with paramount expectations - using the formula you can take a potential valentine’s day flop and make it a grand naked sexy fun time - with just a little effort.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast Sofia shares a session from the 2024 Sex After Kids Summit. If you have ever wondered how to open the conversation about your sex life after kids, or if it feels impossible to get what you want in your relationship now that kids are in the mix, this episode is a must. Let's talk about why its so hard and what you can do it about it.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, Sex Coach Sofia Ashley challenges couples to explore what they are doing with their time, and how those choices impact their intimacy and their relationship. She explores four reasons why you might be using lack of time as a distraction from the root cause and how to use even 30 minutes a month to get back into the saddle of your sex life after kids.

Have you ever had big feelings come up during sex - frustration, irritation, sadness, anger, annoyance? Those big emotions are often a sign that memories and traumas are coming up to be processed. Sometimes, in our sex lives post-kids, those memories can be the very thing blocking our desire to get into the bedroom in the first place. In this episode I walk you through how I managed some tricky feelings in a recent romp in the bedroom and the breakthroughs it revealed for me.

In this episode Sofia explores why so many women are just "waiting for their sex drive to come back online" to have a better sex life. She explores why this thinking is the hard way back to a fun and flirty relationship and what couples who have a thriving sex life after kids do instead. She shares dispatches from her bedroom to illustrate how tuning into intention instead of desire, turning stop signs into yield signs in your body, and communicating playfully can get you back to the sex you crave after children.

In this episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast we explore the concept of 'spectatoring' during intimacy and the impact of societal expectations, particularly the male gaze, on sexual experiences. Sofia shares personal anecdotes and offers practical tips—reclaiming your inner critic as a cheerleader, curating a healthy media diet, and using mindfulness to drown out negative thoughts—to help parents reconnect with their sexual selves post-parenthood.