I get it… you are le tired of people telling you to schedule sex… cause it’s lame, not spontaneous, unsexy, or how the F are you going to be able to guarantee that your libido is going to show up on demand.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast we break down your hangups about scheduled sex, four reasons to get over it anyways, and I break down my four step formula for scheduling a sex date that DOES NOT SUCK. No pressure for your libido to show up, no awkward makeouts until you finally get into it, no forcing yourself and then feeling “grateful” you did later, and no more avoiding sex for weeks on end. Valentine’s day is around the corner - the ultimate of scheduled sex dates with paramount expectations - using the formula you can take a potential valentine’s day flop and make it a grand naked sexy fun time - with just a little effort.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast Sofia shares a session from the 2024 Sex After Kids Summit. If you have ever wondered how to open the conversation about your sex life after kids, or if it feels impossible to get what you want in your relationship now that kids are in the mix, this episode is a must. Let's talk about why its so hard and what you can do it about it.

In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, Sex Coach Sofia Ashley challenges couples to explore what they are doing with their time, and how those choices impact their intimacy and their relationship. She explores four reasons why you might be using lack of time as a distraction from the root cause and how to use even 30 minutes a month to get back into the saddle of your sex life after kids.

Have you ever had big feelings come up during sex - frustration, irritation, sadness, anger, annoyance? Those big emotions are often a sign that memories and traumas are coming up to be processed. Sometimes, in our sex lives post-kids, those memories can be the very thing blocking our desire to get into the bedroom in the first place. In this episode I walk you through how I managed some tricky feelings in a recent romp in the bedroom and the breakthroughs it revealed for me.

In this episode Sofia explores why so many women are just "waiting for their sex drive to come back online" to have a better sex life. She explores why this thinking is the hard way back to a fun and flirty relationship and what couples who have a thriving sex life after kids do instead. She shares dispatches from her bedroom to illustrate how tuning into intention instead of desire, turning stop signs into yield signs in your body, and communicating playfully can get you back to the sex you crave after children.

In this episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast we explore the concept of 'spectatoring' during intimacy and the impact of societal expectations, particularly the male gaze, on sexual experiences. Sofia shares personal anecdotes and offers practical tips—reclaiming your inner critic as a cheerleader, curating a healthy media diet, and using mindfulness to drown out negative thoughts—to help parents reconnect with their sexual selves post-parenthood.

Today I am sharing a bonus interview from the Sex After Kids Summit with Holistic Pleasure Coach Helen Rowlands. Helen is in her 60s and has been married for 45 years. I sat down with her to talk about she's living the best version of her relationship yet with more love and more satisfying sex than ever. We talk about her sexual renaissance in her 40s, understanding each others sexual types and needs, and the importance of having mentors and role models who show us what can be possible in a long term relationship. 

In this episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast, Sofia delves into the significance of sex education and its lasting effects on adult sex lives, particularly after having children. The conversation covers several key points, including the failure of sex education to address pleasure, the importance of self pleasure, the need for detailed anatomical knowledge, and the impact of societal shame on sexual well-being. Through personal anecdotes and reflective questions, listeners are encouraged to reconsider their past sex education experiences and how they have influenced their current sexual relationships. 

In this episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast, we discuss the importance of creating a positive feedback loop in your sex life. Sofia explains the concept of feedback loops and how positive sexual experiences can lead to more enjoyable and relaxed future encounters. Conversely, stress, trauma, and negative experiences can cause a negative feedback loop, making it difficult to enjoy sex. The episode offers practical tips for partners to help each other break free from these negative loops, such as taking the pressure off sex and practicing consent.