Day 1 of 30 - Intentional Self-Love Invitation

Hey there friends,

So, it’s been a hot minute since I really committed to my practice. All the things I teach my clients, all the things I know make a difference. I have been sporadically incorporating them into my life as I step back into my life, or rather, create a new one, post-maternity leave.

I would rank my sex life a medium right now. It’s not happening as frequently as I would like it and it’s pretty good most of the time given the circumstances (not a lot of privacy, not feeling myself in this body, and all the tired). I give myself gold stars for really flexing my communication muscles lately, embracing talking during sex, embracing asking for what I need, and talking with my partner about what we both want. But I am ready to amp it up a notch.

I’m ready for a few reasons.

1) More fun, more pleasure, more connection - who doesn’t want more of that.

2) A deeper connection to myself and release of more junk my brain gremlins are carrying around for me.

3) The ripple effect I know it will create in my life.

4) A deeper commitment to walking my talk as a coach. To really showing up for you, to really living how these practices can change your life and relationship.

So with all that in mind, I’ve created an invitation for myself - and I’m taking you along for the ride.

30 Days of Intentional Masturbation or Self-Love (You choose what you want to call it).

I’m inviting myself to consider the question - what will happen if I really dedicate the next 30 days to weaving my practices into my everyday life. Will I see a difference in how I show up, how I feel, how much sex I am having, the quality of sex I am having, how I feel about my business…. you get the picture.

Specifically, I’m going to be working on intentional masturbation, and my five element meditations.
So for the next 30 days - until Dec 25 I’m going to a) meditate every day and b) endeavor to masturbate as often as I can with a goal of at least 4 times a week. Along the way, I’ll share my observations, my resistance, my practice, and what happens.

My hope is to experiment, to teach you more about what these practices look like in real life, to remind myself and show you what they can do and to have a little fun. If you want to join the invitation - go for it. Reach out anytime, let me know how you are doing and what you need.

So - DAY 1

I got started tonight - cause there is no time like the present, and I actually had the house to myself.

I decided to do it in the bath. A first. I mean, I’ve masturbated in the bath before, but never done an intentional masturbation practice in the water. And it’s not my favourite place to touch myself cause I find the water affects my lubrication and, ironically, makes things dry.

But tub it was.

I lit some candles. Dimmed the lights and put on some relaxing music.

I started with a really short fire element meditation.

Even during this little meditation I already could feel my vulva sort of responding to the water around it. The sensations were new and interesting and it was a new way to tune in to my body. I was being “touched” but not actively by anyone or anything, just the water around my body.

I laid back and took many deep breaths. Filling my belly all the way. Noticing myself wince a bit at the roundness of it right now. The fullness of it.

I set a little intention. My vagina and I decided to explore some not enoughness and see what came up.

And we dove in.

The last session a month or so ago was very powerful. My body spoke to me a lot and a lot of emotions came up. This one was a bit more standard. I noticed a lot of activity and sensation in my feet again - no strong feelings or anything, I could just really feel the energy move from my yoni down my legs and info my feet - especially when I did my vocal ocean breath.

It’s funny cause my feet feeling “wiggly” has always been something I have struggled with during orgasm and sexual pleasure. They feel weird and squirmy and uncomfortable and I have often wiggled my way out of clitoral stimulation as a result.

I focused on deep breaths and moving the energy. I chanted and visualized some earth element energy to hone in on that note enoughness feeling and heal it . When my orgasm came there was a burst of sensation through my legs and feet. Not a powerful one but I almost imagined waves of energy sort of bursting or blasting through my energy channels in my legs. It was quick and short-lived and not as spectacular as it sounds, it was more a picture that entered my mind while a small sensation went through my body.

Afterward, my body gave a little shudder for about 30 seconds and I sort of relaxed into that. I had no idea where I was at in my time and didn’t have the desire to keep touching my vulva so I moved my attention to other parts of my body. I traced my fingers along my knees and belly, breasts and face and just really dove into the sensations. They were warm and yummy.

To close my session I sat up, brought one hand to my heard and one to my vagina and just connected them again. Then I pulled the plug and let all the water drain out, imagining any gunk from my vagina and pelvis, and really my whole body, just draining out of me, into the drain and away.

So that was it. A lovely little orgasm to end my day. Some intention and love and care for myself. Some interesting observations with no particular release, or messages attached.

That’s what intentional masturbation looks like in a nutshell.

Catch you next time.

XO - The Happy V

Side note - If you don’t know what some of these terms are, check out my Tantra 101 video on my Youtube Channel or just email me and I’ll fill ya in.