How listening to my vagina got me a life changing diagnosis

How well do you listen to your body? Like really listen. How well do you listen to your vagina? Do you know her cycle, when she’s grumpy, when she’s tender, when she’s ready to party?

I’ve had a mixed relationship with mine, as you know. I have struggled with knowing what she wants and with honouring her no, but I have also struggled with listening to her signals, knowing my cycle and knowing when my cycle is off.

Learning these things and listening to my V helped me to get a diagnosis for a laundry list of low grade symptoms and the help I needed to get my health back after kids.

Over the last ten years I have been experimenting with awareness of my cycle. Learning how to eat differently each week to support my hormones, exercise differently, rest differently, and show up differently in the world based on where my hormones are at any given time. And it was this awareness, this listening, that was able to diagnose my Hashimotos. (PS shout out to @healthwithholland, @hausofvagina, @redschool and it takes guts nutrition for being some of the guides on this journey. )

This autoimmune disorder is a dormant genetic disorder that awakens when the perfect cocktail of fluctuating hormones, stress, and lack of sleep come together (hello post-partum). It’s a condition where your immune system attacks your thyroid - a little gland in your neck. The thyroid produces thyroid hormone which basically helps every organ in your body do it’s thing well - so when your thyroid is not working well you can experience a whole host of symptoms. It’s a pretty serious condition that can be managed well and it’s really, really easy to miss if you don’t know what you are looking for.

No surprise, it is most common in midlife women /vagina owners after they have babies.

My symptoms could have absolutely gotten lost in how we normalize so many experience in bodies with vaginas - because the reality is - we still know so little about them (the medical establishment still regularly gaslights women into writing off their symptoms instead of getting them the diagnosis that they need)

After baby number two nothing felt overwhelmingly out of the ordinary, I was tired but not sleeping so of course, my period cycles were a bit long but whatever, my PMS was becoming a new-to-me rage-filled experience but I was exhausted so of course, and I just could not shed any of my pregnancy weight. I also had a host of other low grade symptoms like - my feet hurt, ALL THE TIME, my chronic pain in my hips and back felt really elevated, my libido was non existent, my hair was feeling different, I had more period acne than normal, painful ovulation was a new thing, and I was getting headaches during my period (not insane migraines like with baby number one but still more than ordinary).

In the postpartum haze I was quick to rationalize most of these changes away and not think too much about them. Changes are normal after baby anyways, and my body isn’t 25 anymore. I worked on body neutrality and accepting my new size, I bought a new wardrobe to feel good in my skin, I worked on posture and body movement to ease my pain. But I still a little voice told me something was off.

I got lost in an estrogen dominance rabbit hole on the internet thanks to my experience with period headaches with baby number one (the remedy for that had been progesterone supplements). So about a year post-partum I finally asked my doctor about it and we did a bloodwork panel. My naturopath took one look at the results and knew that further testing was going to reveal the Hashimotos.

I’m so glad I listened to my vagina, and my body in this instance. I could have easily missed this diagnosis and missed a crucial window of opportunity to help my body recover and restore my health. So many others do - because we are not taught how to read our body’s signals.

Your period is, in many ways, your fifth vital sign (check out the book by that title). It is a mechanism, like your heart rate, like your body temperature, like your pulse, that gives you vital information on the state of your body. Instead of writing off changes in our periods, and how things feel DOWN THERE. We need to listen up and listen in. We need to talk to our doctors, advocate if we must, and find the right health professionals to get us support.

Thanks to my diagnosis I have a piece of the missing puzzle on why my libido is so MIA post baby number 2. Which means I have the tools to start lighting my fire again. I quit my stressful job, am working hard on feeding myself food that nourishes and heals me, and sleep (well that’s a journey in progress - I’m praying the sleep fairy comes when little bub turns 3). I still have work to do but my body is feeling better every day, my body is returning to it’s right for me weight, I have more energy to play with my kids and I know things will only get better from here.

Through all of this, I learned that food is medicine, rest is healing, and stress is just the worst. I also learned that these three things (eating in a supportive way, getting good sleep, and managing stress) are magic tools for managing peri-menopause and meno-pause, period symptoms and so much more. ( So obvious but i’ve never felt it in my bones like this.

So, a thank you to my vagina for showing me what we needed. A thank you to those teachers I follow for showing me how to dance with my cycle and use it to understand my body’s needs.

And a question for you …. what’s your cycle telling you today? About rest, libido, food, or feels. Leave me a comment below.

P.S I am working on a quiz to help you pinpoint what specific factors might be toying with your libido post kids. Send me an email at sofia@thehappyvaginaproject.com or DM me on Instagram if you want a copy when it’s ready.