5 tips for Planning Successful V Day Date - Especially When It’s Been a while
Alright friends, V day is coming up. And whether you go full into the hallmark cards and chocolate or you could care less I like to think of it as a nice reminder to get out of the damned house already and hang out with your partner. Especially if regular date nights are not on the roster right now. I often joke that the best thing I could do for people’s sex lives is become a professional babysitter so people can get some playtime together. In the absence of that, I have some recommendations for giving a little oomph and energy to your date night - whether they are V Day inspired or not.
1. Get Creative
If your old standbys make you feel good then stick with them. If you are tired of always doing the same old then do some brainstorming. Use the questions below to think of activities that make you relaxed and connected. Then short-list from there to your faves.
Hot tip - doing something new together is a great way to bond. And doing something where you are actually doing (building lego, doing exercise) vs sitting and watching a movie next to each other are also better date bets.
What do you love to do together most?
What activities or situations make you feel most attracted to your partner and in love?
What activities get you the most relaxed?
What is something that you have both wanted to try forever but haven’t gotten around to?
What is something you used to do way back when you started dating that was fun?
What kinds of things make you feel connected and happy?
2. Be mindful of the woo
Take turns hosting the date. I.e. One of you should pick the location, pick the time, prepare the snacks and otherwise roll out the red carpet for the other. Actually invest the time in the small details that show you care. This goes a LOOOOOOONG way to making your partner feel loved and special.
3. Watch your conversation
Nothing can connection faster than getting lost in money and household logistics conversations. Avoid talking about the kids, house repairs, your bank accounts, and any other life logistics stuff. Instead, go deep - take this as an opportunity to meet your partner anew - what motivates them, what interests them these days? Need some inspiration? Check out 36 Questions to Fall in Love Or grab a Copy of Eight Dates - Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
4. Make Intercourse Optional
Yup - instead, focus on having a positive naked sexy fun time. What does that mean? Set up a warm, cozy, well-lighted space with yummy snacks and relaxing music. Get naked. Have fun. The only goal is to relax and enjoy yourselves. Maybe intercourse happens. Maybe it doesn’t. Check out my Naked Sexy Fun Times Playbook for step by step instructions on how to have the no pressure sex date.
5. Most importantly - Have Fun
When you are with the right person, a trip to the hardware store and a Saturday fixing up things around the house can be the best date ever (Love you babe). It’s not always in the grand gesture and the fancy expensive meals. The best date can be a fail - maybe you experiment with an at-home 5-course meal and make a mess of the kitchen. Don’t load all your expectations on things going perfect. Focus instead on being present in the moment with the person you love.
Happy Love day friends. The Happy V.